M: Marriage

Happy Friday, everyone! Amanda (A.G.) Porter is back with her third and final post of the week and today she's talking about marriage. Give her a warm welcome and thank her for joining us this week as a guest!

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I was sitting with a group of kids, playing Apples to Apples. If you’ve never played it, it’s really a fun game. The concept is pretty easy. Everyone gets Red Apple Cards with an array of words on them and each person gets a turn being the judge of the Green Apples Cards, which have a Word on it. You use the Red Apple Cards in your hand to best describe that word.

This particular round the word was “Tough.” I looked at the cards in my hand and the only thing I had that was remotely close was “Gang Members.” I played it, figuring it would at least get a good laugh. Well, as the Red Apple Cards were read aloud, garnering giggles as they normally do, the last card was flipped over. The word on it was “Marriage.”

It hit me that this was coming from kids, the oldest one being 17 and the youngest being 14. They thought marriage was tough. I thought to myself, “What do they know about marriage?”

I almost opened my mouth to say something. The words were on the tip of my tongue. Then, for some reason, I stopped. I didn’t know these kids really. They were kids I had been with for the past three days, subbing for the Band Director of the school my stepson went to. Some of them I knew in passing, but others, I had just been able to recall their names.

I didn’t know what they saw at home. Maybe they came from blended families or perhaps single parent homes. Maybe they had both of their parents and they saw fights on a daily basis. Or, maybe their parents loved each other, but they saw through that veil that we, as parents, put up. The one we use to hide how hard it is to make marriage work.

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Thanks for that great take, Amanda! She brings up a great point. So many of us go to great lengths to show children and families only the best of our marriages, whether in an effort to spare them worry or keep them from jumping to conclusions, or simply because so many of us grew up learning that we don't wash our dirty laundry in public. But marriage is a team effort and even the happiest teams have occasional challenges. 

So it's your turn, dear readers - how open are you with your children in discussing your marriage?