When people are divided...

I am a HS teacher
I am a HS mom
I hate guns and violence
I am pro 2nd amendment

These things seem to contradict one another when each one should place me on one side or the other of a highly controversial debate.

When people are divided by a fence, I look for a gate.

I'm not going to say any more about this issue. We don't like to get political on this blog. What I want to talk about is COMPROMISE. It's time to start mending fences...

I've heard many outrageous theories and knee-jerk "solutions." I've also heard many thoughtful comments and sane conclusions from both sides - because I'm willing to LISTEN.

As a teacher, I have the privilege of observing every kind of person thrown together in one place. My number one goal is to help teens succeed through school and become better adults: able to deal with real problems when they enter the harsh world of reality.

That should be EVERYONE'S GOAL! The sad truth is, not enough adults are willing to become parents who need to teach children that life isn't always going to go their way and discipline them when they break the rules. Give kids perspective and life lessons and friends from every walk of life -- these things are so much more valuable than useless, dust-collecting trophies.

We need to LET THEM FAIL sometimes and show them how to LEARN FROM IT! They need to be taught how to listen to someone with a different opinion and have a civil discussion rather than fight or resort to violence!

I could go on, but like I said, I don't want to incite a controversial war... My final thoughts: Every problem of this world has to start somewhere and the solution can usually be found in the same place - IN THE HOME.

Thanks for listening. Hope you have a positive week!

Bless Your Heart... For Real!

All Customer Service Employees need this book

Yes, I'm trying to stir the pot again.

I once had an interesting conversation that started with this prompt: “There is a vast difference between being 'nice' and being 'polite.’” A few people, and I have to believe that they are among those rarities who are actually nice all of the time (yes, they do exist but I am unfortunately not one of them), argued that there is no difference between the two words. For most of the discussion, however, I found that people do tend to notice distinct differences between these two words and what they meant to them.

I bring this up for two reasons:

1.  Being a word nerd, I’m fascinated by how two words meaning essentially the same thing conversationally (despite specific definitions) and used interchangeably so often can evolve to conjure such specific reactions, and 
2. I had a long phone call where I realized that the ‘polite’ person that I was talking to on the phone was not a ‘nice’ person at all. In fact, I was pretty sure that she was giving me the finger while she was saying, “Bless your heart,” safely from her end of the phone line. I got off the phone with this "customer service rep" feeling hollow, irritated, and condescended to, and eventually just angry. NOT good for the old mental/emotional well-being.

You probably grew up across the street from this lady

For those not familiar with southern sarcasm, ‘Bless your heart’ can sometimes be a meaningful expression of sympathy, but more often than not it’s a southern lady’s socially acceptable way of saying “Why the hell do you think I care?”

Now it's got me wondering about my own responses to people and feeling slightly guilty. You know what I mean... The phone rings at work and, blast that caller ID, it’s one of those people you'd rather give extraneous body parts than have to deal with. But, since you have a job to do for which you are being paid, on goes that plasticine smile with the glazed eyes as you say, “No, you’re no problem at all, really, how can I help you?” All the while your imagination is dreaming up scenarios in which it would be acceptable for you to scream “Go away already you horrible person!”

See? Polite, but not nice, and certainly not in keeping with my goal to remain positive. On Monday I talked about faking it til we make it as a way to trick ourselves into being more naturally optimistic. When I let myself hide behind the polite mask I'm doing the opposite - I'm allowing myself to be negative by justifying to myself that it's not *my* fault that so-and-so is a pain to deal with instead of just putting my big girl pants on and take some pride in a job well done even if it means a momentary irritation.

Now that I’ve given you the set up, what do you think? What do these two words mean to you, and do you feel affected differently by them?

#Tips for Managing Monday

You all are in for a real treat as we kick off 2016 with a GUEST POST from our favorite HouseHUSBAND! MARK KOOPMANS! He's an international man of mystery - and we snagged him in between his travels. Take it away, Mark!

Aloha,

Thanks to Tara, Liz and Ashley for guest posting this week with the Really Real Housewives. (Hey, after me, this blog can only go upwards and onwards for 2016.)

I was a stay-at-home dad for eight years and while things have changed, Mondays were always the most challenging day of the week. Here’s some tips that worked for me, especially when I had three kids out of school:

• Field Trip Day: Once the boys were playing at the playground, I used the time to make plans for the rest of the week (and avoid stares from other moms who wondered who this male interloper was!)
• Grocery Shopping: A necessary evil that often turned into, “An extra field trip, kids!” especially when I had to save time.
• Monday Movie Nights: With the boys staying up later, the threat of pulling Movie nights were a wonderful deterrent to earlier-in-the-day bad behavior.

Mainly though, I used Mondays to prepare for the new week, and here’s one more vitally important thing: Flexibility. This is much needed after discovering the just-cleaned living room is now the new, slimy base of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. (Without flexibility, rolling into the fetal position for a quick sob can be very bad for the back.)

Mark Koopmans was born and raised in Dublin, Ireland. In 1989, he spent the next several years working in Holland, Spain, France and England. In 1994, he won his U.S. "Green Card," and is an American by choice since 2003. Koopmans began his writing career that same year with a feature for a regional magazine in California. Since then, he's worked as a staff writer for newspapers in Florida and Texas. Koopmans is also a proficient blogger and is working on his next book. He lives in Virginia, and is "Papa" to three active boys under the age of nine. He writes at night.