How to Survive Motherhood

I hope you enjoyed peace, quiet, and adoration on Mother's Day!

But Mothers deserve so much more than just one day off - and probably don't even take the whole day off anyway. A Mother's job is 24-7.

Mothers have the biggest hearts, putting up with sass, cleaning up after messy families, cooking for unappreciative diners, and going above and beyond to make sure the family is happy and healthy, no matter the cost to herself.

So how do we do it? How do Mothers survive motherhood?

• Stay positive - a million things may go wrong, but experience tells us everything will work out, and the kids latch on to mom looking on the bright side
• Stay focused - it's easy to get sidetracked with details or things we forgot to get or do on our lengthy chore list. If you prioritize your list, the bigger things will be taken care of, and the rest can be done when there's time (ha ha) or can be moved up in the priority order as needed.
• Stay flexible - surprises and changes come along all the time--class picnic or baseball game rain-outs, sickness, and forgotten lunches or homework. Expect the unexpected and when it happens, it will be easier to deal with.
• Stay calm - Freaking out is contagious. When the kids see their mom is calm in a crazy situation, it helps them calm down too: Mom is a Superhero--she can handle ANYTHING!
• Stay true - Sometimes being a Mom is tough, like when we have to say "No" even when "everyone else is doing it." Stay true to your word, even if you get flack for it, your kids will turn out better and respect you...later!
• Stay fun - Moms are fun too. Be silly, be unpredictable, tell the kids funny stories about your youth, join them in the fort or for a mom and kids slumber party, let them help you bake...there's a time to be serious and there's a time to play. Enjoy it while it lasts!
• Stay yourself - we all make mistakes, but we're all awesome anyway. Admit the first, move on, and shine on. You are their idol for life.

It's all worth it!

Wishing you Flowers and Sunshine after a Fresh Spring Rain!

10 #Tips for a #HappyLife - Be Thankful

This is what I'm most thankful for...

We all have problems to deal with, no matter where we come from. Concentrating on the things we have to fix, we often forget and take for granted the parts of our lives that are working properly! If we could refocus away from the negative once in a while to be thankful--for what we have, for the positive things, for the things going right--the world would be a brighter place.

Negative nags at our attention. Negative needs us to figure out a solution. Negative needles us to complain and criticize. There's too much negative out there these days.

Stop! Don't let negative consume you. Take a break and think about what you're thankful for. Remember what's good about your life.

It won't make the problems go away, but they will be more manageable with a new, positive outlook.

10 Tips for a Happy Life:

1. Breathe
2. Smile
3. Be Thankful
4. ...

Thanks for listening! Hope you moms had a marvelous Mother's Day!

Tara Tyler - The Lazy Housewife

10 #Tips for a #HappyLife - Smile

I was told that there are FOUR basic emotions - Anger, Sadness, Happiness, and Worry. Everything else is a combination of those in varying degrees (In Inside Out, they used Disgust and Fear, but hey, it's not an exact science - don't worry about it!)

Either way you slice it, HAPPINESS is OUTNUMBERED!

That's why it takes a lot of effort to get over a tough situation.
That's why feeling happy and positive is so awesome!
That's why we need to spread more of it around.

It's so easy to criticize and doubt and make fun of others - Twitter and social media have become trumpets of negativity. So much arguing. No compromise or giving others a chance or trying to see things from another perspective. Blech!

Remember when TVs were called "idiot boxes?" Well, it looks like phones and devices are taking their place, but they're worse. They possess people! People become obsessed with them. They can't live without the little buggers. The instant feedback is addictive. And many base their happiness on the number of "likes" or "followers" they have.

My hope is for people to realize we need to disconnect from our devices sometimes and have in person, human interactions. Put down the device and look around. Communicate face to face. Take a walk without your earbuds and listen to nature. Have a device-free meal and talk to your family.

This Device Free Dinner video made me smile =)

Share a real live smile, not just an emoji!
Smiles are healthy contagious!
Spread happiness with a smile!

Have a happy week!

#FridayFavorite

Happy Friday everyone! It’s my last day here at the TRRH and I am so grateful for the time spent. Talking with women, with real people who connect over similar experiences, or even just emotions, this is the kind of stuff that I love.

Today, I want to introduce you to #FridayFavorite. It’s something I started two years ago on my blog because I realized that I was constantly writing about things that stressed me out, or things that I had to learn to overcome, but I wasn’t ever giving straight acknowledgement to those things from the week that made me happy. And the more I thought about it, there is a lot during the week that makes me happy. So, I began blogging about something new each Friday, a song, a moment with my daughter or husband, a movie, a book…you name it. Whatever made me happy, that was my #FridayFavorite for the week.

Well, this might be a week late, because the Golden Globes were two Sundays ago, but I cannot ignore Ryan Gosling and the fact that beyond the downright handsome face, straight-from-the-gods abdominals, and quirky sense of humor, he is also a woman’s man. A man who would stand in front of his peers and the rest of the world, and thank his partner for being the rock that made it possible for him to have it all: a family and a successful career.

"You don’t get to be up here without standing on the shoulders of a mountain of people…While I was singing and dancing and playing piano and having one the best experiences I've ever had on a film, my lady was raising our daughter, pregnant with our second, and trying to help her brother fight his battle with cancer….If she hadn't taken all that on so that I could have this experience, it would surely be someone else up here other than me today…Sweetheart, thank you." 

My. Lawd.

I burst into tears, immediately searched every plaque, meme, quote board with this thank-you speech on it, and have referenced it at least twice a day every day since the actual event. Because…YASSSSS! Thank you, Ryan Gosling, for acknowledging what was important: your life partner; the woman who keeps the homestead running so there is a home, and a family, to come back to. The woman who was NOT at the award ceremony receiving accolades, but at home, nursing a new baby, and reading stories the oldest daughter. The woman whose own career can’t exist the same way as yours when she wants to be the kind of mother she does.

You, Ryan Gosling, are the next several Friday Favorites, not because you made a public show of loving your wife—but because you publicly acknowledged a mother’s work, and just how darn important and life-changing it can be, despite the lack of awards ceremonies for it.

Tell me your #FridayFavorites from the week, beautiful people. I can’t wait to hear about them.
Xoxo

Kristen Kehoe is a wife, mother to a four-year-old girl and four-month-old puppy, teacher, romance author, and captain of the crazy train. Nice to meet you ;-)

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Thanks for being here this week, Kristen, and sharing your insights and advice. It's been awesome getting to know you and learning from your experiences!

Happy is the First Step to Healthy

Hello again! Thank you all for having me back.

It’s confession time, Ladies. I don’t cook. At all.

Sometimes, I think about learning, watch Giada or the Ranch woman with red hair whose always making something yummy, and I think, I got this. And then reality by the name of the smoke alarm or food poisoning sets in and I go back to remembering that coffee is my one and only culinary quest. The rest, thankfully, is my husband’s.

And to answer your unasked question, yes, I look to the sky and give thanks for this amazing gift of a husband who cooks every day ;) But, while I have no crockpot recipes to give you (another confession? I cried the last time I tried to use my crockpot—I’m that scared of the kitchen), I do happen to have some health tips. Not because I’m a healthy person who has the golden ticket to health and happiness—the direct opposite actually: I understand what it’s like to want to be healthy and stand in my own way. Once I recognized what I was doing, everything changed.

1. Being healthy isn’t attached to a specific weight—it’s attached to how we feel about ourselves. The power of positive thinking is a real thing. Don’t just make goals, make affirmations and read them.
2. Try new things. I am a college athlete who thought running and lifting for hours a day was the only way to exercise. This was false. In fact, the more out-of-my-comfort zone I get, the happier I find myself, and the more charged my body. Right now, I’m doing the BeachBody Country Heat dance videos. I feel like an idiot each time, I still have no idea what a kick-ball-change is, and I often look like an uncoordinated colt learning to walk, but I sweat, and I smile at the end.
3. Do not keep a food diary. This is something a counselor recommended to me a long time ago when I was struggling with my weight—write down everything you eat so you can recognize what’s positive and what’s negative. All it ever did was make me feel like I was heavy, disgusting, a failure. I write nothing down and I do not weigh myself. I set steps, and I make goals: a healthy breakfast, a timed amount of physical activity, replace one meal a day with a salad, and one splurge item a week (it’s almost always pizza).
4. Do not attach your confidence to your image. What we look like is only part of our package; it’s the wrapping paper. We have to love who we are and what we can do more than we love that outer part of us. This takes time—more than dieting and working out does, but those results…they are the game changers.
   
5. Finally, don’t be afraid to find a friend who understands your journey, and ask them to take it with you. I found my supporting cast in an online happiness group—I’m now supported by and supporter to women I’ve never met before, but who understand what I’m doing. This is, perhaps, the greatest tip. Don’t rely on those you’ve always known—sometimes, it takes the support and understanding of a stranger to give you what you need. 

Emotional health is just as important as your physical health. Do something for you, without strings or expectations of weight loss or image building, and find the happy that will make your healthy. If you need a friend for your journey, find me on Facebook at Author Kristen Kehoe I would love to support you.

Until next time, here’s to finding happy.
xo

Kristen Kehoe is a wife, mother to a four-year-old girl and four-month-old puppy, teacher, romance author, and captain of the crazy train. Nice to meet you ;-)

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Happy Wishes for 2017 from THE Housewives

2016 is finally over. There were ups and downs as in every year, but the last couple of months seemed to roll down a hill and never hit the bottom for us to climb back up!

Thankfully, a new year has connotations of a new beginning. And we at the House would like to share some joy and fond wishes with you all... Plus some fun memes you can take with you!

Ashley - feeling judged for her Crazy Cat Lady
Ugly Christmas Sweater by her bird Clio.

"I wish everyone books that whisk them away to magical worlds, moments that inspire and motivate them to change the world for the better, and the time to enjoy the happiness they build for themselves." - Ashley

Liz is in the corner in green - she's had to deal with a lot of crisis this season, but is persevering!

"My hope for 2017 is to appreciate the small things and to be mindful to count blessings." - Liz

Tammy's Happy New Year card!

"My good wishes are to do more in 2017 than I could in 2016. From my writing, to fitness, to kid activities to even putting my foot down more. Haha!" - Tammy

Tara in her wrapping station... busy little elf!

"May strength and wisdom be with you in 2017!"

The Done List

Happy Halloween, everyone! and Welcome, welcome, welcome to Kimberly Vanderhorst! This week she's bringing sunshiny-ness from the inside out. I love this post of a to do list in reverse!

“You’re not horrible, you’re human. People are always getting those two confused.”

It’s a hallmark of human nature that we are sometimes too hard on ourselves. We mentally bludgeon ourselves into a state of despair because we're not doing and being all the things we think we should.

But if you worry that you are not kind enough, giving enough, AMAZING enough, then odds are you're pretty freakin' fantastic. Because you're striving, and you're yearning, and you're aspiring.

Please. Celebrate that.

And please, resist the voice in the back of your mind, the insidious whisper telling you what a slacker you are. One of the most beautiful, most joy-worthy aspects of humanity is that we have the power (with the help of our loved ones) TO DROWN THOSE VOICES OUT.

Be a loud voice. Be the bright and shining creature you have it in you to be. And when you can't, when the weariness brings you down so low you forget you ever had the power to shine at all, remember this:

"Feeling and being are not the same. You are not one dark thought, one sad moment, or one awful day. You are oh so much, so infinitely MORE."

There’s a dangerous cliché making its way through the world, which tells us that it’s silly to stare into mirrors and tell ourselves how wonderful we are. The idea has been mocked in countless TV shows and movies, and more often than not leads to abject humiliation for the person doing it.

But I found a loophole, and it’s a fabulous one.

Every day, I write down the things I do. “Unloaded the dishwasher.” “Answered seven emails.” “Edited two query letters.” “Wrote 537 words.” “Read three books to Gracie.” “Put on real pants!” “Put through and folded two loads of laundry.” “Decluttered kitchen counter.” “Shouted inside my head instead of outside.” Etc . . .

At the end of the day, I skim my “done list,” and smile. Because when it comes to my accomplishments, my memory is a sieve with really big holes. Writing them down helps me fight that whispering “You are not enough” voice. It helps me realize that I am. Even on my rough days, when “put on pants” is the highest of all possible accomplishments.

What sort of things would you put on your “done list?”

Kimberly Vanderhorst is a speculative fiction author who cherishes a love for all things strange and beautiful. Claims to fame include running Prism Editing, serving on the committees for the annual LDStorymakers Conference and The Whitney Awards program, and co-hosting the annual Pitch Slam contest. Despite being a city girl with a tendency to cuss too much, Kimberly is married to an LDS minister and lives in rural northern Canada. There, she helps raise her four lovely daughters while pretending not to be afraid of the neighbour’s chickens.

www.kimvanderhorst.com

Keeping the weight off

I’m going to do a brave thing with this post. I’m going to talk about my weight.

I’ve been metabolically challenged since I was about ten. Over the years, I’ve probably done about 80% of all the eating programs out there, with varying degrees of success—usually slow with such plans as Weight Watchers. 

I’ve been quite successful with some programs—How to Lower Your Fat Thermostat (Neuropsychology of Weight Control), South Beach, The Fast Metabolism Diet, and most recently Take Shape for Life.

The odds are not in our favor as far as keeping weight off. I've lost enough weight in big batches to build a large adult male. If I added up all my smaller stints, I'll bet it's equivalent to a small woman.

What makes it come back?

It can be temptations (we eat what we eat because we like the food), or lack of support at home (sabotage by loved ones). Sometimes our bodies even fight us. For example, have you read that New York Times article about the weight regain by The Biggest Loser contestants?

It’s not just discouraging, it’s plain depressing. I have wondered many time why I keep trying. I’m active. I work out. I try to eat right. Why can't I be smaller?

So, I decided to take the plunge and try Take Shape for Life. The thing that encourages me that this time could be THE time is that I have a health coach. She and her husband (a fellow writer), together, lost about 200 pounds on this program, and they’re keeping it off.

The key is the support. I’ve never had much with other programs I’ve tried.

*takes a deep breath*

Last April 20^th, I weighed 241.8 pounds (I’m 5’9”). *cringes* And that's not the most I've ever weighed--that was 249 pounds (without being pregnant). 

As of last Monday, I weighed 191.6. 

**begins rant** Can you believe my stupid body wouldn’t give up that lousy .2 pounds so I could say I’d lost 50!!??! **endrant**

Here’s my before picture next to my current picture.

And believe it or not, I was sucking that gut in on the left.
I wish the one on the right showed my waist (which is smaller than my abdomen--much smaller).

Do I worry that people who know me say are thinking things like:

There goes Donna again. How long will she keep it off this time?

 Heck, I have my own little demon sitting on my shoulder asking me this very question. So, do I fret?

Oh, yeah.

Am I hopeful?

Heck yes! My freaking slip fell off walking to my office last week!

I want good health. I want to be here for my grandkids for a long time. 

Dang it, I’ve got a lot more books to write.

Donna K. Weaver is an award-winning author, wife, mother, grandmother, Harry Potter geek, Army veteran, karate black belt, and online gamer.

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This is Strength

A few months back, a neighbor of mine was talking about her job as a personal trainer. She said something I’ll never forget: Beauty is not a flat stomach. It’s not smooth skin or great hair or a perfect figure. Beauty is strength.

I’ve never considered myself a courageous person. I sit on the edge of fear most of the time. No scary movies, no haunted houses… even doing everyday things like driving down a busy road or walking to the park scares me. But courage, and strength, can manifest itself in many different ways.

I have no qualms about telling people exactly how much I weigh. (292.6, for curious minds.) I don’t worry about sharing my pant size. (22) I make jokes often about how I dye my hair blonde to hide the many (MANY) gray hairs that have popped up, starting at age 26. The reason? It took me a long time to understand it, but sharing those things help. Not just me, but so many others.

When I decided on healthier and happier habits, I noticed that I often got discouraged by weight loss stories. All I saw were numbers. “Go from a size 16 to a size 8!” “She lost over 50 pounds in 6 months!” Numbers were my enemy. Numbers do not a beauty make.

So my number (292.6) means nothing to me. My size (22)? Nothing. You know what means something?

My smile.

(Oh, there it is ;) )

My relationships.

My strength.

For those of you who’ve read my entire week, first, thank you. And second, find those things that bring you happiness, that bring you joy, and that keep you strong.


Hugs and Love,
Cassie Mae

Cassie Mae is the author of a few hundred… okay, maybe not that many… books. Some of which became popular for their quirky titles, characters, and stories. She likes writing about nerds, geeks, the awkward, the fluffy, the short, the shy, the loud, the fun.

Along with writing, Cassie likes to binge watch Once Upon A Time and The Flash. She can quote Harry Potter lines quick as a whip. And she likes kissing her hubby, but only if his facial hair is trimmed. She also likes cheesecake to a very obsessive degree.

You can stalk, talk, or send pictures of Luke Bryan to her on her Facebook page

Thanks again, Cassie for sharing your journey to happiness, joy, and strength! You're a beautiful example!!

This is Joy

Thank you to everyone who read my previous post, basically introducing my story to you :)

When I talk about happiness, I feel that the description is something felt deep within during moments that are lighthearted and fun. For example, happiness is losing that extra pound, getting that promotion, going on dates, or maybe getting some unexpected income. Life throws us a bone every now and again. It’s good to feel happiness.

But joy… I consider joy to be something that is much more valuable. It’s the quality that I fight for every day. I take comfort in the fact that joy does not require being happy one hundred percent of the time. Just as life throws us a bone, it also gives us challenges we are never ready for. To have something there to help us be happy in those times is what #projectgethappy is about.

After a steady five-pound-a-month weight loss, I stopped losing two months ago. At a standstill, I become frustrated, annoyed, angry even. But combined with all those emotions comes something even better—joy. Because I have been outright with my journey, candid about my weight, I have people to lean on and turn to for encouragement. Also, I’ve learned to lean on myself. Sure, I am at a standstill, but I am beautiful. I am strong. I’m all kinds of wonderful, really ;) These are things I never would’ve thought about myself before.

Joy is something that warms your soul when there is nothing else to keep it brightly lit. Joy is gaining a pound, but knowing how beautiful you still are. Joy is writing 10,000 words that your editor advises that you delete, and you do it knowing it’ll make the story better. Joy is getting fired and having someone to hold you while you worry about how to pay next month’s rent.
Hold onto your joy. It is the key ingredient to any weight loss journey.

Hugs and Love,
Cassie Mae

Cassie Mae is the author of a few hundred… okay, maybe not that many… books. Some of which became popular for their quirky titles, characters, and stories. She likes writing about nerds, geeks, the awkward, the fluffy, the short, the shy, the loud, the fun.

Along with writing, Cassie likes to binge watch Once Upon A Time and The Flash. She can quote Harry Potter lines quick as a whip. And she likes kissing her hubby, but only if his facial hair is trimmed. She also likes cheesecake to a very obsessive degree.

You can stalk, talk, or send pictures of Luke Bryan to her on her Facebook page

This is Happiness

Another wonderful guest is joining us this week - CASSIE MAE! She'll be sharing POSITIVITY with us. We could all use more of that!


I’d like to thank the lovely ladies here for the invitation to crash their party for a few days. When I was asked to talk about my weight loss journey, I was honestly at a loss for words, and I find myself feeling that way again typing this, so I hope that what I really mean to say comes out in a way that makes sense.

2015 was a rough year for me. It wasn’t so much my weight, though that was a contributing factor, as it was the fact that I felt so out of control. I fell into a hole I hadn’t realized I’d been digging for myself over the course of many years. Bad habits, including procrastination, laziness, emotional eating, and poor self-image buried me, and it was around this time last year that I hit rock bottom. And I sat there for many, many months.

I felt my entire world slipping away—relationships I’d established went neglected and uncared for, and the worst of it was that while I worried about it, it was not enough to change it. I holed up, kept my feelings (and lack of feelings) close to the chest, never wanting to admit out loud that I felt dank and dark much of the time. On the outside, I put up a wall, trying to make people laugh and hoping that no one saw through the façade. Those closest to me were not fooled, and it took a long while before I admitted the problem—If I wasn’t toeing the line of depression, I was indeed sunk into its depths.

Admission is the first step to recovery. The moment I confided in someone (my husband), a tiny spark ignited somewhere deep within. Over time, and with open communication, that light expanded. Realization that this was more common than I’d ever thought, an idea formed—In January, I started #projectgethappy, a very open, honest, and public way of my journey to not only lose weight, though that was a big part of it, but to find things that would make me happy again.

What started as a solo project quickly grew, and I could not be more grateful. The people involved have inspired me on my low days, have offered encouragement, and have found a safe place to be honest as well. We’ve found that weight is only a number—one that does not matter, at that. My 300 pounds may be viewed as many different things: unhealthy, ugly, lazy… Or to some who weigh more, it is viewed as goals and smaller sizes. To me? My 300 pounds is strength, beauty, happiness.

Over the course of these posts, I will talk about what is truly important in any sort of journey—not the numbers on the scale or the amount of words written a day (if you’re a writer like me) or the times you’ve been asked for a second date. It all comes down in finding happiness, joy, and strength along the way.

Hugs and Love,
Cassie Mae

Cassie Mae is the author of a few hundred… okay, maybe not that many… books. Some of which became popular for their quirky titles, characters, and stories. She likes writing about nerds, geeks, the awkward, the fluffy, the short, the shy, the loud, the fun.

Along with writing, Cassie likes to binge watch Once Upon A Time and The Flash. She can quote Harry Potter lines quick as a whip. And she likes kissing her hubby, but only if his facial hair is trimmed. She also likes cheesecake to a very obsessive degree.

You can stalk, talk, or send pictures of Luke Bryan to her on her Facebook page

How to keep kids from whining this summer!

The resourceful Lyndsay Johnson is back today to offer us a creative way to keep kids from telling us how bored they are!

Summer is here! But the whining was just too much. Something had to be done. I bought some tickets, and made a plan!

After a little creative brainstorming, I decided we needed a rewards system. We've done marbles in a jar, monetary rewards for chores, and other promises of greatness. But this summer I need something motivating and simple. I had been thinking about the fair coming up in August, and it dawned on me: RED TICKETS. I ran to Walmart and came home with a gigantic roll of red tickets. The kids were speechless for the first time in a week. "How do we earn them?" they implored. "I will share with you all of my secrets," I promised, and set about making this system work for us.

First, I gave them each an envelope for ticket storage, and found a big jar for "payments." Then we came up with a mutually agreed-upon system. You want to watch TV? Pay the jar 1 ticket per show. You want to go to a friend's house? 5 tickets. Family movie night or snow cones on mom? 10 tickets. Go to a movie? 50 tickets. Trip to the museum? 100 tickets...and so on.

And they have to work for these rewards! 1 ticket for every 10 minutes of reading. Picking up toys, 5 tickets, etc. Some rewards and payments are set in stone (they HAVE to read at least 20 minutes a day, but my 9 year old is now averaging about 70 minutes in order to earn an many tickets as are humanly possible).

But I also can use these tickets to keep them in line while, oh, say, having to shop for summer clothes with all three kids in tow. "You keep playing hide and seek in the racks, and that's going to cost you 10 tickets!" Boom. Angels. And if they are extra helpful and go above and beyond, they earn bonus tickets! Helping with little Lena (2) has earned Finn (9) and Maya (7) quite a few tickets to pad their envelopes. We even have a Friday Toy Chest where they can choose a 5 Ticket Toy from a treasure bin (thank you Dollar Store). It's the perfect motivation to keep everyone on track this summer!

What's working for YOU?

Lyndsay Johnson is a stay/work/play-at-home-mom to three littles. She is a graphic designer, author, and beauty maven who helps women gain confidence and grow their business through social media. She loves secret naps, watching movies in the dark, and admiring the mountains out her window. She lives in Heber City, UT with her children and filmmaker husband.

Lyndsay’s Blog: www.lyndsayjohnson.com

Lyndsay’s Beauty Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1615220915368450/

#MondayMotivation - Find Your Happy!

We have a special treat this week - our guest is Jolene Perry, long time blog friend and multi-talented mom. She has some great advice to share with us this week... Take it away, Jolene!

First off, I’m soooo super stoked to take over this week *happy dance*
I’m gonna keep it simple today, and roll with a list. Becuase I like lists. They make me happy :-)

A RANDOM LIST OF THINGS THAT HAS MADE MY LIFE SO MUCH HAPPIER

#1 You are the boss of you. Don’t let someone tell you that you’re doing something wrong, if you’re happy, you’re doin’ it right. I add, tweak, and change bits of exercies, recipes, rules...

This one comes with a story - I gained a LOT of weight with my son. I threw up for all nine months, and the only way to not throw up and stay off of liquid IVs, was to be STILL. When I was still, I didn’t throw up as often.  ANYWAY. Nothing fit after he was born, of course, and so I told myself that I’d be allowed to get new clothes after I lost the weight. That was such a huge mistake. There is exactly zero motivation to lose weight when all you have are clothes you don’t like and don’t feel pretty in. Once I finally bought a few things that made me feel pretty, I found the motivation to get up and move again. #2 DO NOT WAIT UNTIL XXX BEFORE YOU DO SOMETHING NICE FOR YOURSELF.

Along with #2, #3 Don’t save your bigger clothes, just in case. Guess what? You’ll end up filling them again. And while we sometimes do gain weight back, don’t be prepared for it.

Because I live in Alaska, and we end up in the dark for so many months out of the year, I’m always looking for little tricks to make me feel happy when the world feels as if it’s trying to suffocate me. For me, that happy place is sometimes clothes, so just bear with me for a sec. Trade out your favorite hoodie with a killer cardigan. Trade out your worn running shoes for something with a teeny bit of style. #4 Just break outside of your norm dressing once in a while. Which goes with...

#5 Dress up to run errands once in a while. You know that skirt that makes you feel all sassy? Or those boots that make you feel like you could fight zombies? Or that blouse that makes you feel like Taylor Swift? (or something else that’s all yours). Just WEAR IT once in a while. You don’t need a purpose or a reason to dress up if you want to.

We need people. #6 FIND YOUR PEOPLE. Does this mean you have to put yourself out there? Yup. Is that terrifying? Definitely can be. Is it worth it? SO VERY WORTH IT. If you’re a knitter, there are a ton of knitters out there. Yoga your thing? SO many yoga groups. Sewing? Writing? Journaling? Genealogy? THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE FOR YOU. Local people. That you can meet with face to face. Find your people.

#7 Timers work wonders! I’m a weirdo about timers, but there’s a reason. A good friend of mine came to visit, and she was in the middle of setting timers for everything. I rolled my eyes, but we decided that we’d give ourselves 10 minutes to clean up my house. We seriously cleaned the main part of my tiny house in 10 minutes. Because we knew our time was limited, and because we knew we could just walk away when we finished, we hustled. I use timers for writing, and often, I still use timers for cleaning. Even when I’m miserably tired, I can usually manage 5 minutes. You’ll be amazed at how much you get done.

So many people don’t like this bit of advice, but I turn 40 this September, so I’m gonna give it to you anyway. #8 MOVE YOUR BODY. Yup. Exercise. BUT, do it your way. I used to do these really killer hard workouts. I was all about P90X, or Jillian Michaels or CrossFit. Some days I’d work out 3 times a day. At a certain point, I realized I wasn’t loving working out. Now I walk and I do yoga. And guess what? My body is stronger, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. TRY a few things. If you’re happy, don’t be afraid of the rut. If you’re bored, try something new (and don’t be afraid to change it up for you).

Always remember that change can be a good thing.

#9 DON’T BE AFRAID TO BE WEIRD! I have people tell me ALL the time - I could never pull off those shoes, or I could never wear that haircut the way she does, or that outfit is too cool for me. STOP IT! If you love a haircut? DO IT! OWN IT! LOVE IT! And then someone else will look at you and say, I wish I could pull that off.

#10 TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF doing something you love. No mother or wife, or any person should feel guilty about taking time for herself, to do what she loves. I need my children to follow their passions, and I’d love for them to have less guilt about doing that than I sometimes do. It is important for your family to see you as a human, and not only MOM. Hey, don’t take that the wrong way - moms rock, we’re amazing, but we have things outside of being a mom that need to be part of our lives, for us, and for our family.

AND, that’s what I have today. Am I perfect? Nope. Do I take my own advice? Most of the time!! Can’t wait to see you all again Wednesday!!

Jolene Perry writes books for teens and lives in Alaska with her family, dog, cat, and tortoise.

I Tweet   I Facebook   I have an author Site   I Tumblr like a gymnast

Fake It Til You Make It!

One of the first bits and most important bits of advice in my early career came from a successful author who told me it had been the key to his success. He told me to “fake it til I made it.” Even from his first book, he never let himself get caught in the trap of believing he hadn’t earned the attention and readership yet. It was really great advice, and it kept me from devaluing my own work even during times of struggle.

However, what he didn’t realize was that he was giving me a mantra to get through every other day of my life, too.

Pulling my hair out? Of course not! I'm just really,
really happy that it's Monday. Riiiiiight.....

And it starts with each and every Monday morning. I wake up like I’m pretty sure most everyone else does – with a cold pit of existential dread in my belly and anger at the world for allowing Monday mornings to even be a thing – and then I start getting into character. It started out as a kind of game while I was putting on my make-up. With each bit I applied, I pretended I was putting on a mask that was happy and smiling and cheery (you know, me after like 5 cups of coffee). By the time I was finished with the transformation I found I was*gasp* actually looking forward to the day and anything it could bring. Sure, I still started out groaning and incoherent, but by the time I got to the office I was the happy morning person that everyone loves to hate. And I meant it!

After a while of such success with faking myself into making it, the process started even earlier in the morning for me. Now in my head I was becoming that TV character who wakes up with a stretch and a smile and perfect hair and eyeliner still intact. True, that only works until I see the mirror, but by that point I already feel better.

And, after all, isn’t feeling better the whole point? Here are some other ways I’ve tricked my brain into not cowering in the dark space between snoozes:

• Picking a goal that actually excites me to start on first in the morning.
• Forget worrying about the lengthy to-do list that I didn’t finish before bed. Instead, take stock of my accomplishments during the day and let myself feel some satisfaction for a job well done.
• I treat myself! I deserve a treat for getting out of bed, right? So I can look forward to whatever special diet-breaking treat I allow myself first thing in the morning. Here lately that’s been a Hansen Pomegranate Soda. Yum!

 What kinds of motivators do you use to help you fake it til you make it?

How to have a happy marriage - the RETRO Way!

And for Free-for-all Friday, SK takes us back, way, way back to the good old days...


As a wife, I've naturally looked up to those who've had long successful happy marriages. Don't get me wrong. My sweetheart is a wonderful man . . . when, umm,  he's not acting up having a rough day, but just the same, it never hurts to seek expert advice . . . 

So I thought, where better to look than to those given in the past? Like, wayyyy in the past. And I'm honestly not sure what that did for me . . . except laugh my butt off. Because, personally? Well, my thoughts on these are simply: NO!  o_O And if you wanna laugh with me, read on!

Here are some RETRO advice on How to Have a Happy Marriage:

(From 1950's “The Good Wife’s Guide”)

***DON'T TALK***

1- Be a good listener. Let him tell you his troubles; yours will seem trivial in comparison. Don’t bother your husband with petty troubles and complaints when he comes home from work.

2- Remember your most important job is to build up and maintain his ego (which gets bruised plenty in business). Morale is a woman’s business.

3- Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

4- Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first—remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

5- Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

6- Don't be a bad cook! Bad cooking has been responsible for driving the husband to the saloon, and to other places. And when she does cook, she should cook, and not be, as somebody said, a mere can opener.

7- Don't be sentimental! 

AND IF THINGS COULDN'T GET "FUNNIER" . . .

What if your man strays after marriage?

8- In case of an occasional lapse on the part of the husband—there a bit of advice may prove acceptable. And my advice would be: forgive and forget. Or still better—make believe that you know nothing. An occasional lapse from the straight path does not mean that he has ceased to love you. He may love you as much; he may love you a good deal more.

This one speaks to my soul so much better than the advice up there:

So there you have it!

Don't forget that a good wife always knows her place . . . 

*snort*

* * * 

To my dear hosts:

Thanks so much for having me over at The Really Real Housewives of America!

I had fun! Let's do it again sometime ;)

xoxox,

S. Katherine Anthony

S. K. Anthony is a writer, a reader and a make-stuff-up-er who lives in New York with her husband and toddler twins. She is a wine connoisseur, which just really means she knows she loves it, and a caffeine addict. When she isn’t busy with her family, she finds herself being transported into the world of imagination. Well, either that or running away from spiders . . . she is convinced they are out to get her!



We really enjoyed having SK guest post for us! We laughed, we cried, we learned! Now go have a good weekend, you guys!