#MondayMusings - Living in the Moments

Today we welcome Kristen Kehoe to the House - she's got some common sense tips for happier living!

Hello ladies of The REALLY Real Housewives and everyone else! Thank you for having me.

Before with worry

Yes, captain. I suffer from what I’m starting to understand as the mom illness, AKA I have to do it all, be it all, know it all, and I better be efficient while I’m at it.

What does this mean? Well, it means I like to worry about anything. Everything. All of it. Why? Please see above for the aforementioned illness.

Honestly? I want to know that what I’m doing is enough—for my family, myself, my career…I also like to make lists ;) I’m organized in my crazy.

But, lovely people, in my thirty-two young years (seriously, I adore my thirties), through the people around me, experiences I have had and those I’ve observed, I’ve learned that worry is not the key to a good life. Living is.

What’s that, you say? What is this thing called living, and who has time for it? Trust me, I hear you.

We all have bills to pay, work to stress over and complete, housework to contend with, a spouse to communicate with, maybe even spend alone time with, and children to feed, scold, praise, feed, cuddle, nurture, educate, love, etc. We all have those things, whatever they are, that we do every day to make sure we can keep our lives functioning. But living isn’t just about those necessary things that keep us going, however much they consume us; it includes stopping, looking around, and being in this moment (even if this moment includes going insane from cabin fever while the school dares to cancel for ice and snow again. Don’t they know we just had winter break? Another game of Candy Land or Connect Four or, sweet baby jeebus, BARBIES, will kill me).

For me, living in these moments means turning my phone onto airplane mode, or Do Not Disturb, and resisting the urge to check my steps for the day, or my book rankings, or sales dashboard, or reading the latest blog post about finding more readers and greater success. It means resisting the urge to scroll through my Instagram feed and compare myself to every other crafting-DIY-CrossFit mom who has five times the number of children and projects as me, and ten percent less body-fat and wrinkles.

• Living means putting on rain boots and taking my puppy and daughter for a walk, even when she’s whining and the dog is chewing on her leash trying to walk herself, and I’m half-crazy by the end of those two miles.
• Living means accepting that my body is thirty-two, not seventeen, not twenty-five, and the marks and curves (fine, lumps) it bears are those of life, not just age.
• And living means looking at myself in the mirror instead of the Instagram filter, and knowing that happiness is mine for the taking—if I’m willing—and it is not dependent on flawless skin, great lashes, or smooth hair (read: everything I would have to purchase in order to have).

After letting go of worry

It’s not ground breaking, but if there is any advice that I might be qualified to give (and trust me, the jury is still out on that) it is that for a few moments a day, we have to stop, look away from the never-ending stack of “to-do” and “worry-about” and “status update,” and embrace the moment.

Kiss your cat, your kids, your dog, your partner, your spouse…heck, kiss your kindle and the book boyfriends that live in it and just live. We often look for happiness in those big moments—but life is made up of small moments, insignificant moments, that all paint that one chaotic and brilliant picture. So live today, right now, over your first or fifth cup of coffee. We can go back to worrying in just a minute.

Until next time.
xoxo

Kristen Kehoe is a wife, mother to a four-year-old girl and four-month-old puppy, teacher, romance author, and captain of the crazy train. Nice to meet you ;-)

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Crazy December Days

Ho ho ho! Here's an early Christmas treat! Chantele is helping us get through the holidays at the House this week with some tips on relieving the overwhelming stress many of us feel in December!

Hey Really Real Housewives! Thanks so much for letting me take over your blog this week! You ladies are AWESOME and I’m so excited to be here!

So, the holidays are upon us, as all of you know by now. You know, the wonderful time of year where you’re trying to find the perfect gift for your husband who’s SO hard to buy for, (not to mention finding stuff for your children, siblings, parents, friends, neighbors…) wrapping gifts all day long, sending children out the door to school and bundling them up every morning so they don’t freeze and trying not to freak out when they refuse to wear a coat, and you contemplate duct taping it on them, but they finally give in when they step outside… Just me? Also, cleaning house for parties, picking up after everything and everyone after said parties, making sure children are fed, attending dreaded work Christmas parties and being forced to play games with people you don’t know while wearing ugly sweaters…etc.

The list seriously never ends.

Despite the craziness of December, I actually love the holidays. I love the general feeling of good everywhere. I love how people think more about others than themselves. I love seeing Christmas lights, Christmas trees and snow. I love spending time with my family and most importantly, celebrating the Savior’s birth. But through the holiday season, I really do get stressed at times. And when I’m feeling more like the Grinch or Scrooge than Buddy the Elf or Cindy Lou Who, I have a few tricks that help me enjoy the season a bit more.

1. I start shopping early. When I say early, I mean, like in July/August. I finish Christmas shopping before December each year and it’s GLORIOUS. Seriously. Best. Feeling. Ever. I wrap all my presents super early too. Like the first week. Yes, I’m slightly insane, but honestly, it helps me enjoy the holidays SO much more.
2. When I get a bit overwhelmed with cleaning house for Christmas visits, I listen to Podcasts. (This goes for all year actually.) I’m kind of a history nerd, so my favorites are Stuff You Missed in History Class and History Chicks. Podcasts make cleaning less of a chore and I learn something new while listening! And sometimes ignore my family on accident. But hey, sometimes we need a break, right? ;)
3. One word. Puzzles. I can knock out a 1000 piece bad boy in a few days and I love it. It challenges my brain and helps me unwind. Our family does several big puzzles every year during the holiday season and we love it! It’s really nice to sit and chat.
4. Coloring books. You guys, coloring is the BEST. It’s also proven to relieve stress. Also used all year long. They have some awesome coloring books for adults out there.
5. Read a good Christmas book or watch a fun Christmas movie. This one is a given.

So, there are a few tips for enjoying the holiday season (and life in general) just a bit more. Hopefully I won’t be the only crazy who’s done with Christmas shopping in October next year.

Chantele Sedgwick is a YA author, harpist, wife to one and mom to four. She loves fairy tales, happy endings, Kit Kats and (judging by her bookshelves), buying way too many books. She lives in Utah with her family and can usually be found reading, or talking her husband’s ear off with her endless supply of book ideas. She’s the author of Not Your Average Fairy Tale, Not Your Average Happy Ending, Love, Lucas, Switching Gears (Feb 2017) and Interlude (2018).

Five Reasons to Love the Season!

I know December can be a big stress ball, but we must try to slow down and relax a little amidst the crazy, hectic preparations! Don't forget what it's all about. Here are my favorite things during Christmas season:

1. I get to see my family - Some people complain about seeing family. I'm one of the lucky ones I guess. I adore my parents and my sister who has a great family of her own. I really wish I could see them more than once a year, but this is usually it. We eat good food, catch up, play games, and laugh a lot! I love spending time with them!
2. My house will be clean - Here cometh the great cleanse. To prepare for company, I does clean the house good. And decorate it up! Tiring, back-breaking, but worth it - and then I get to relax the whole time they're here.
3. Parties - I love going to parties. I get to catch up with friends/neighbors I haven't talked to in ages because our lives have gone in different busy directions. The funny thing is, I hate getting ready for them. It seems like a waste of time I could be doing preparations and I don't want to go, then I do and have a great time. We need a relaxing break!
4. Presents! - Make a list and you shouldn't be disappointed (don't show it if you are!). And sometimes there are happy surprises! But I mostly like seeing other people enjoy what I got for them. Better to give than receive, right?
5. I will make some memories with my kids. - They grow up so darn fast. I'm almost the shortest person in my house! My oldest will be a senior next year, then poof, he'll be gone! Wah!! Hard to believe. So I try to enjoy the time I have with them.

What's your favorite part of the holiday season? Make sure you enjoy it!