IRL Tips for Staying Sane

The other day, I was feeling sorry for myself (again? don't worry, this is a more upbeat post!) I was driving home to an empty house for the weekend. No one to cook for, no one to watch TV with, no one to talk to or play games with. It was awful! Wah, wah, wah.

Then, as I changed radio stations, I heard three songs referring to being ALONE!! I thought that only happened in movies. I had to crack up--actually LOL!

As Liz said last week, time has flown. My middle son just graduated high school as well and is joining the Army, but he was a ghost his whole senior year - except when he crashed stuff and needed rides. *eye roll*

With active teens flying the coop (pun on my son, Coop) there will be many lonely days ahead (husband doesn't count, but that's another post) Empty Nest Syndrome is real! Though some of you may not know what I'm talking about yet, I know there are days where you find yourself with unexpected, unplanned extra time on your hands and wonder "What do I do now?"

So here are my... Tips for Making the Most out of Alone Time!

• Reconnect! - And I don't mean get on Facebook and look or even just texting/messaging. In Real Life Face-to-Face time!! Do it! We used to have play dates that were just as fun for the Moms as for the kids. No matter how busy our lives get, we need our friends.
• Do something! - A job or hobby or volunteer work is a great thing to keep us active and social and sharp. Being alone, I can get loads of neglected chores done, but I start to get down if I'm alone doing thankless tasks for too long...
• Go somewhere! - It's tough to find time to reconnect. We can't just sit around and wait. Try doing something by yourself! Shopping and taking a walk are awesome and not so bad to do by yourself. I'm going to try hiking again, something I used to love before kids. I also suggest eating out or going to the movies, worth a shot to get out of the house!
  
• Travel! - Go further than your part of town. Spend some time with relatives or friends you haven't seen in a while. I'm going all by myself, driving 8 hours to visit my parents next week and see a bunch of my friends. I can't wait! So excited!
• Do something for you! - Above I mentioned a few things to keep you busy. But this one is all about you. Writing is for me, but I'm trying to turn it into a job... And I can't do that all the time, so I turn to my Wish List - not for things I want, but of things I've been meaning to do, and it's a mile long. I love to organize, so purging closets and our basement always needs to be done. Scrapping/organizing my boys' sports memorabilia is another item that gets pushed aside. ETC!

It's funny--I've been complaining about not having enough time to do things most of my life with kids. Now, I can see the readjustment coming when the kids will be gone--thank goodness they're never really gone and they still need us sometimes!

Have a pleasant week!

The best time to start a #diet - part 1

You know DIET is a four-letter word.

that's diet, btw

It's so negative. This is what it means to me:

D - Deny
I - Ingesting
E - Every-
T - Thing I like!

I used to try fad diets. Some worked at first. But you know the story - once you see some results, you give yourself a reward. Then something comes up, like a vacation or Thanksgiving or the weekend! and the diet is out the window.

I don't diet anymore. I've been dieting all my life - never satisfied with my weight. Sound familiar? That's a problem in and of itself - a self-esteem problem that is shared by most women. With age, and child-bearing, I grew to accept my form. I maturely realized I wasn't going to exercise my butt off (ha ha). I chose to spend my valuable spare time on things that were most important to me, like family and writing.

I stayed relatively healthy and not too heavy. Then the Change hit. No one said anything about the 25 extra pounds that magically appear!! And in such a short time! I didn't change my eating habits or minimal exercise routine, but BAM! Here I am about to hit my max weight of dire consequences. This is unacceptable and I now have to do something drastic. But I won't call it a diet...

Time to UPGRADE MY LIFE!

I have four constant goals:

But these goals are wishy washy and vague, and easily ignored or appeased. "I drank three cups of coffee - that's mostly water" or "How many raspberries do you think are in a jelly donut? That counts." I groan at my own excuses!

So I am undergoing a lifestyle change. I have to be serious. I also have to be reasonable with the expectations I place on myself. But most of all, I have to have WILL POWER!

At least I'm starting this undertaking at the best time to start a change of eating habits - SPRING!

In Part 2, I'll talk more about my plan and why Spring is the best time to start it. I decided to go for it on Thursday 3/29, so I'll have a 2-week update on my progress as well... Wish me luck!

Do you have a max weight? Do you diet? How do you stay healthy?

Hope you're having a great start to this Stormy Spring!

Make Monday More Fun

We'd are excited to have Stephanie Faris with us at the House today! She's a fabulous friend, mom, and children's author!


Books Make Everything More Fun

I first discovered audiobooks in my 20s. Back then, you had to pay full price for audiobooks on CD or cassette, unless you could find them in the used bookstore. When I realized my local library had them, I was so excited.

I read Stephen King’s The Green Mile while cleaning the house. I read Nicholas Spark’s Message in a Bottle while making food for a New Year’s Eve party. I read countless books during my work commute or while doing mundane duties at work. Now, thanks to apps like Audible, you don’t even have to leave the house to pick up the latest bestseller.

Yes, audiobooks make everything a little easier to bear. Last year when we packed to move to a new house, Harlan Coben books helped take my mind off of the grueling work. That same author got me through deep-cleaning the house so we could sell it. I actually look forward to my three-mile walk at the gym every day because I know I’ll get to enjoy the next chapter in whatever great book I’m reading.

Listening to books isn’t for everyone. I actually found that celebrity biographies and nonfiction books were better if you were doing something that might distract you. The popularity of the Serial podcast a couple of years ago prompted me to figure out how to work the podcast app on my phone. It’s surprisingly easy, by the way. I’m a true crime addict, and there are a billion true crime podcasts out there—all 100 percent free!

If you can’t afford audiobooks or an Audible membership, podcasts aren’t your only free option. Many local libraries now offer digital lending. You can use your library card to reserve audiobooks and load them onto your phone. It isn’t for everyone, but if I have to scrub the toilets or try to match up socks from the laundry, listening to something interesting can make it so much more bearable.

Stephanie Faris is the Simon & Schuster author of the middle grade books 25 Roses and 30 Days of No Gossip, as well as the Piper Morgan chapter book series. Her freelance work has appeared on NYPost.com, Mental Floss, The Week, and Your Teen magazine.

Where does the time go?

We are spiced to have the lovely, long-standing Leigh Covington as our guest this week! She going to lay some tips and advice and fun stuff down and pump us up!

How many times do you wish for more hours in a day? I think we all do! We have to run kids to soccer games and piano lessons while working on laundry, cooking dinner, and attempting to fit in our 10K steps for the day. This is also hindered by our attempt to make ourselves presentable if we leave the house or if someone stops by for a visit, let alone having our kids dressed and ready to take on the world.

I used to think that things would get easier as my kids got older and they could do more for themselves, but that's not true. Life stays just as busy and hard - just in different ways. Life is simply hectic! And while we're all wishing there was more time to get ALL of these things done and working ourselves into the ground day and night so that we can scratch things off our "to-do" list...

Are we making time where it REALLY matters?

Yes... I'm sure you know where I'm going with this... are we making time to be together? QUALITY time - not simply time when we are all in the same house on our various electronics working toward different goals. Unfortunately, that doesn't count.

While there are a million ways to make time for our littles, I'm going to take you all along on my family's camping adventure from a couple of weeks ago.

First, let me explain that I've spent the past 2 1/2 years finishing my teaching degree which has left me lacking in the T.I.M.E. department. Feeling like an epic failure, I decided we needed to get away from our regularly scheduled program and enjoy some quality time. This included me packing up my three kiddos (on my own, since the hubby had to work) driving them two hours away from home, into the mountains to attempt a camping and fishing experience. What happened?

1. No cell phone service! We had to be creative and be together!
2. We had to work toward similar goals. We could set up the tent together, unload the car together, cook meals together, & figure out how to untangle fishing line together!
3. When we all froze at night because I didn't bring enough blankets - we could snuggle together!
4. Talking, laughter, and spending TIME with each other. 

It's probably quite obvious that you don't have to go to the mountains to do any of this. That was just something I have wanted to do with my kids for awhile, but it worked and it was worth it! Taking time for one another - playing together and finding a sense of unity, is all worth it. While, I'd love it if that meant there was no arguing, that wasn't really the case. Lets face it - we are human, but the arguing was happening less and fun was happening more. Hallelujah!

How else can make time for each other?

• Eat dinner together - don't forget to talk in between mouthfuls!
• Read a book to one or all of your children.
• NO TECH TIME - make time to talk and play. Ask your kids about their day.
• Play games together. My kids are card sharks so we love card games at our house.
• Cook something together, or teach them how to cook.
• Work together.
• PUZZLES! (A new favorite for us!)
• Go on a walk, ride bikes, go swimming, etc.

Truth be told- spending time together helps our kids, and even our spouse, know that we genuinely care about them and what is going on in their life. It helps build confidence and security in who they are and what they are capable of. Don't we all feel more empowered when we feel loved and accepted? Doesn't someone taking TIME for us help build those feelings of love and security? The love and support of family will probably reach much further than we can ever truly know.

For me, time with my kids and husband is this important so I put it at the top of my priority list. Oh well if I'm behind on laundry. Oh well if I'm the weirdo who bakes 5 dozen cookies with her kids to take around for Christmas gifts. That's okay. Despite how we might feel sometimes --- being a mom is the best job in the world, and definitely the most important. Does that mean that everything else we do isn't important too? Nope! Not at all. It simply means that you shouldn't downplay your role as "mother." Embrace it! And make time to embrace the time you have with those you love.

So, how do you make TIME for your family? What does your family love to do together? I look forward to hearing your ideas. I'm always looking for new things to try.

Leigh Covington is the mother of three active children and a full time student at Grand Canyon University, finishing her Bachelors in Secondary Education emphasis in English. Fueled by Coca-Cola, she spends the majority of her time watching soccer games or gymnastics lessons, while sneaking in a sweet treat to satisfy her chocolate addiction. She also teaches the youth at church and loves spending time reading a good book whenever she can find a free minute.

#MondayMotivation - Find Your Happy!

We have a special treat this week - our guest is Jolene Perry, long time blog friend and multi-talented mom. She has some great advice to share with us this week... Take it away, Jolene!

First off, I’m soooo super stoked to take over this week *happy dance*
I’m gonna keep it simple today, and roll with a list. Becuase I like lists. They make me happy :-)

A RANDOM LIST OF THINGS THAT HAS MADE MY LIFE SO MUCH HAPPIER

#1 You are the boss of you. Don’t let someone tell you that you’re doing something wrong, if you’re happy, you’re doin’ it right. I add, tweak, and change bits of exercies, recipes, rules...

This one comes with a story - I gained a LOT of weight with my son. I threw up for all nine months, and the only way to not throw up and stay off of liquid IVs, was to be STILL. When I was still, I didn’t throw up as often.  ANYWAY. Nothing fit after he was born, of course, and so I told myself that I’d be allowed to get new clothes after I lost the weight. That was such a huge mistake. There is exactly zero motivation to lose weight when all you have are clothes you don’t like and don’t feel pretty in. Once I finally bought a few things that made me feel pretty, I found the motivation to get up and move again. #2 DO NOT WAIT UNTIL XXX BEFORE YOU DO SOMETHING NICE FOR YOURSELF.

Along with #2, #3 Don’t save your bigger clothes, just in case. Guess what? You’ll end up filling them again. And while we sometimes do gain weight back, don’t be prepared for it.

Because I live in Alaska, and we end up in the dark for so many months out of the year, I’m always looking for little tricks to make me feel happy when the world feels as if it’s trying to suffocate me. For me, that happy place is sometimes clothes, so just bear with me for a sec. Trade out your favorite hoodie with a killer cardigan. Trade out your worn running shoes for something with a teeny bit of style. #4 Just break outside of your norm dressing once in a while. Which goes with...

#5 Dress up to run errands once in a while. You know that skirt that makes you feel all sassy? Or those boots that make you feel like you could fight zombies? Or that blouse that makes you feel like Taylor Swift? (or something else that’s all yours). Just WEAR IT once in a while. You don’t need a purpose or a reason to dress up if you want to.

We need people. #6 FIND YOUR PEOPLE. Does this mean you have to put yourself out there? Yup. Is that terrifying? Definitely can be. Is it worth it? SO VERY WORTH IT. If you’re a knitter, there are a ton of knitters out there. Yoga your thing? SO many yoga groups. Sewing? Writing? Journaling? Genealogy? THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE FOR YOU. Local people. That you can meet with face to face. Find your people.

#7 Timers work wonders! I’m a weirdo about timers, but there’s a reason. A good friend of mine came to visit, and she was in the middle of setting timers for everything. I rolled my eyes, but we decided that we’d give ourselves 10 minutes to clean up my house. We seriously cleaned the main part of my tiny house in 10 minutes. Because we knew our time was limited, and because we knew we could just walk away when we finished, we hustled. I use timers for writing, and often, I still use timers for cleaning. Even when I’m miserably tired, I can usually manage 5 minutes. You’ll be amazed at how much you get done.

So many people don’t like this bit of advice, but I turn 40 this September, so I’m gonna give it to you anyway. #8 MOVE YOUR BODY. Yup. Exercise. BUT, do it your way. I used to do these really killer hard workouts. I was all about P90X, or Jillian Michaels or CrossFit. Some days I’d work out 3 times a day. At a certain point, I realized I wasn’t loving working out. Now I walk and I do yoga. And guess what? My body is stronger, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. TRY a few things. If you’re happy, don’t be afraid of the rut. If you’re bored, try something new (and don’t be afraid to change it up for you).

Always remember that change can be a good thing.

#9 DON’T BE AFRAID TO BE WEIRD! I have people tell me ALL the time - I could never pull off those shoes, or I could never wear that haircut the way she does, or that outfit is too cool for me. STOP IT! If you love a haircut? DO IT! OWN IT! LOVE IT! And then someone else will look at you and say, I wish I could pull that off.

#10 TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF doing something you love. No mother or wife, or any person should feel guilty about taking time for herself, to do what she loves. I need my children to follow their passions, and I’d love for them to have less guilt about doing that than I sometimes do. It is important for your family to see you as a human, and not only MOM. Hey, don’t take that the wrong way - moms rock, we’re amazing, but we have things outside of being a mom that need to be part of our lives, for us, and for our family.

AND, that’s what I have today. Am I perfect? Nope. Do I take my own advice? Most of the time!! Can’t wait to see you all again Wednesday!!

Jolene Perry writes books for teens and lives in Alaska with her family, dog, cat, and tortoise.

I Tweet   I Facebook   I have an author Site   I Tumblr like a gymnast

R: Reminders

R day is upon us. It's a good thing I wrote it on my calendar or I would've forgotten to write my post! I desperately need REMINDERS or things won't get done. As I get older, along with the rest of me that's falling apart, my brain seems to be shrinking too! So today, I'm sharing how I manage to keep up with everything around the house...


REMINDERS!

Sticky Notes are my favorite invention. I keep pads of paper in every major room of the house to jot down things I need so I don't forget. But sticky notes are brighter, demanding attention. I use them for important reminders. If I need gas, the car ding-a-ling helps, but is easily ignored. A strategically placed sticky note will make me do that chore or buy that item just so I can throw the note away and get it out of my sight! They also travel better, to and from work, or stuck to my keys or phone. They're also great to remind family members of things they may forget to do - like feed the dog, sign a form, brush their teeth, pack their lunches, and don't forget to bring their heads to school...

Magnets are my second favorite invention. I collect them from my travels. And they're an awesome way to post more long-term things like sports schedules and lunch menus, in plain view on the fridge - the most opened door in the house.

Calendars are a beautiful thing. I have a bunch of calendars in my house. Most are for decoration and to glance at to know what day it is when I lose track. It happens. But the most functional calendars I have are on my devices. I used to do paper pencil, but things just change too fast for us these days, and there are so many events to coordinate. It's easier to have everything in one place and accessible to all.

Dry erase boards save paper. Handy, easy to write on, glance at, erase & update. One more reminder tool option.

Lists are encouraging notes of love. I love lists. They help me remember. They prod me to finish things. They don't yell at me, they patiently wait to be fulfilled. Crossing things off gives me a sense of accomplishment. Lists are the best!

Timers are a necessity. Did I say I was forgetful? (ha!) I not only use timers for cooking, I use them for laundry, pickup times, appointments, etc. They keep me in line and almost on time!

My phone does his part too. I'm slowly converting almost all of the above to my phone - calendars, timers, lists, etc. as I grudgingly plod forward into the future... But I still like sticky notes best!

Prioritizing is the key to organization, but unless I write it down, it ain't gettin done.

Do you have any reminder advice? Pass it on!

You can visit other blogs from the A to Z challenge HERE.

Procrastination Tip

Here's a tip I've learned from last minute, way too far behind, desperation.

You've had all day to wash your hair, but you didn't. Now a friend wants you to meet her at the mall and maybe grab dinner. You have four options:

1. Wash and blow dry leaving your friend waiting so long she regrets ever calling you.
2. Go greasy. (Gross.)
3. Go wet. (You can bet it will dry either fuzzy or flat...enjoy.)
4. Dry shampoo.

That's right- dry shampoo. It's not just for Fido. They make it for humans too.

You can pick up a can at Walmart. Or any drug store or online store, but if you're anything like me, you're going to be in Walmart fifteen times this week trying to remember all the things you forgot to get the first time you went there.

A bottle of dry shampoo is as cheap as a bottle of real shampoo, but it takes an eighth of the time.

And no, I'm not suggesting you stop bathing, but if you're like me, my hair is dry and curly. If I wash my hair daily, it strips the natural oils and before you know it, I'm looking like Roseanne Rosannadanna.

You do remember Roseanne Rosannadanna, right? If not...



She's hilarious. The hair? Not so much.

Thick, course hair is actually more manageable on the unwashed days. If you're planning an updo or want a head of manageable curls...don't wash it. Now, nobody wants to be stinky. That's where the dry shampoo comes in handy to absorb the oils and smells.

Here's how it works:

*Brush hair, but  don't over brush. Just get the tangles out.
*Spray hair toward the root without spraying directly on the scalp. If you get the spray too close, you'll get powder puddles.
*Allow to dry completely. Maybe spray hair first, then do make-up while it dries.
*Bend over. Finger comb and fluff the freshly unwashed hair.
*Avoid brushing. Brushing moves the oils from the scalp, down the strands making it look limp and greasy.
*Style and you're ready to go! Now, hurry...you're probably running late!

**Additional note! Be certain to get a spray shampoo that matches your hair color. Not only does it look more natural, but it will help hide those overgrown roots. Now, that's a bonus!!

Enjoy your Monday. Skip the shower. Take a hot bath when you get home.

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

"The players may have changed but the game remains the same." - Name that movie!

We really real women have to deal with a lot. And change happens all the time. But you know what we do with change? We go with the flow. Problems come our way? We deal with it! We do what we can with what we have. We prioritize and get things done and eliminate what we just can't do. That's how life is.

Our wonderful friend Beth wanted to be with us as a permanent hostess, but life is just too busy for her right now. We get it. Any time things get too hectic, don't be afraid to speak up! Real women understand, we've been there. It's okay.

Liz and I are determined in our drive to spread happiness through helping others with tips and laughter. We will carry on. And lo and behold, we had a newly made really real housewife volunteer to join us (she also just got married!)

I give you out newest Really Real Housewife:

Ashley Chappell-Peeples!

the Nerdy Housewife

(every home needs one)

Besides being an author and NASA nerd in Huntsville, AL, Ashley Chappell is an avid lover of nature who enjoys climbing, camping, hiking and sailing with her husband. Her favorite visitors are dragonflies. And though she's not the most social of people, she believes peanut butter should always be consumed with a spoon straight from the jar, beer should always be dark and frothy, and pizza is best served with copious amounts of hot sauce.

Ashley's links: facebook - twitter - blog


She's nerdilicious! She'll make your eyes roll faster than you can say Star Wars. We love this girl!! And we'll let her tell you all more about her in her first week of posts... (debuts Nov 2) Wait till you hear about her house!

Plus we have all sorts of guest posters coming up along with our regular segments... See how things work out?

Lemonade, people - make some!