Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Diet Is a Four Letter Word

That's me in 1988.

Let me explain a couple things about the picture...

1) The school photographer came and suggested we take action shots. In all my years of  "playing" basketball, this was usually all the action (outside of practice) that I got.
2) For years, I HATED this picture. I didn't hate it because my coach gave me a scowl and a head shake for doing it, but because I was certain I looked fat.

Seriously. I tried to talk my mother into liposuction after getting that picture back. She refused, of course.

While studying to be a mental health counselor in college, I had to write a weight loss program that could be used as group therapy.

I decided I'd make a plan that put self-love first. My weekly group would focus on the whole woman, not just a number on a scale.

Part one was the interest component:

Everyone has a passion...they just need to identify it. My group would require its members to explore interests. I'd bring in people to discuss different hobbies until each person found something that excited her.

Part two was the beauty component:

There would also be a beauty component to the group. I mean, everyone likes to look pretty, right? Wouldn't my weight loss group benefit from beauty tips by bringing in make up specialists, hair dressers, and fashion experts? I thought so.

Part three was the health component:

Lastly, there would be a focus on health. Not weight. Health. I know skinny people who maintain their weight through diet drinks and cigarettes. That's hardly better than being a chunk, right? The group would explore healthy eating and exercise habits. My group would play fun games like badminton or basketball. We'd share recipes that were not only delicious, but healthy. And everyone would be responsible for sharing and coming up with organizing games. That way planning and execution becomes a habit for them too.

So, that, in a nut shell (the original proposal was about twenty pages long) was my plan.

I got a C on it.

My professor's comment on the grading page was, "It sounds like a fun group, but you didn't make a weight loss group".

I took my paper to his office and argued for my plan. I told him I fully believed America's obsession with weight was exactly what was making us fat. If we stopped worrying constantly about what we looked like  and simply started living healthy, full lives, we'd have much better chances of reaching an ideal weight than by spending a whole day counting calories and loathing the bodies we have.

We shouldn't have to wait to be a certain size to enjoy the hell out of life and feel beautiful.

My logic worked a little. I was able to bump my C to a B.

I couldn't get my A because, as he said, I didn't put the focus on weight loss.

It's been twenty years since I lost that argument, but I still think I'm right.

Any time I obsess over my weight, I gain weight. Then I feel awful about myself and beat myself up, and then I gain even more weight. This  summer was one of those times when bad habits returned with a vengeance. I was back to my old obsessed self.

Once again, I am back to trying to re-orient my brain and remind myself that it's not all about weight. It's about living an active, healthy life without the negative self-talk.

Here's a few tips that help me:

1. Add calories rather than subtracting them. Try to eat at least ten servings of fruits and vegetables a day.

2. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. The body often confuses thirst for hunger, so we find ourselves nibbling when we really need to be drinking. And a body filled with enough water helps reduce fine lines and wrinkles!

3. Swap food. Where you can, switch from the higher calorie option to the lower calorie. I swapped turkey pepperoni for regular pepperoni and don't miss the original.

4. Keep a food journal. Writing down what I eat helps me make the connection between mindless eating and real hunger. It also helps me keep track of my fruit/veggie/water count.

5. Start counting productive movement. My grandmother baptized her sixth child in a size 8 dress and she never went to the gym a day in her life. What she had was an active to do list. Gardening, cleaning, and walking places instead of driving kept her fit and trim. My grandmother was almost a little over 80 years old when she stopped mowing her own lawn!

Finally, be kind to your body. Like it or not, it's the only one you'll get.

How about you? Any suggestions or tips?


17 comments:

  1. Well you know how I lost weight Liz. I signed on to a programme called FitDay and there I have been writing down my daily intake of food every day for the last 3 years. I lost, and have kept off, 46 lbs. and find being aware of what I am eating is helping. I would also warn you about drinking water - it is possible to drink too much. I don't know what the limit is. But I have read it can be dangerous. I also don't obsess about food. Most weekends I eat a dessert. I also drink wine at the weekends and still have kept off the weight. I did this all the way through. This Friday, for instance, I will be going to a Chinese buffet and will probably pig out. Later, I just get back on track again.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. You're absolutely right about the water. I believe 8 glasses a day is the goal.

      You have developed a healthy view of food. I think that is the ultimate goal for everyone. I know, for myself, that I slip into this bad habit of seeing food as either a treat or a nemesis. It's bad thinking. Your balanced approach is the way to do it.

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  2. Great article, Elizabeth! I remember those young days of thinking I was fat too. Lol. What fools we were.

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    1. Wouldn't it be great to have a time machine and go back in time and punch our younger selves? I would say talk to them, but they'd not listen. LOL

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  3. This is such a great post! I especially love you focus on health... I'm okay with eating 2,000 calories a day as long as those calories come from quality meals instead of junk fillers!

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    1. When I was in college, a friend of mine went on a diet of cigarettes and diet coke to lose weight before spring break. It's insane what we do to ourselves. I like being older a whole lot better. I'm way saner than my younger self.

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  4. Good advice. I try to drink a gallon of water a day. Being active is one of the most important and hardest to accomplish.

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    1. Me too. When I don't get enough water, I can feel the difference. My brain is even groggier.

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  5. Great advice! I was the same way when I was young. Now I wish I weighed what I used to! But I'm happier now. I focus on being healthy rather than my weight.

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    1. I hear ya! Same here. When I start to get too hard on my 40-something body, I remind myself that when I'm 70 and getting knee replacements, I'll wish I had the 40 year old bod back.

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  6. we were so skinny back then and had no clue! i love this pic =) and a great post - portion control, more natural, less artificial, more water! easy to say, harder to do!

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    1. I know, right? Is it a teen girl insanity? I do well for a while, then fall back into bad habits. The hope is that eventually my good habit trends will last longer and longer.

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  7. I've given up on trying to lose. My family was fat phobic and i was always being told I had to lose weight. I was always on diets as a kid. It screwed up my metabolism. I'm always in starvation mode so it moves very slow. Thing is I look at pics and I wasn't fat at all. My parents never once told me I looked fine and was beautiful as is. Now despite working out and dieting, I won't lose a single pound. So I gave up. My husband is a chubby chaser and he thinks I'm hot as is, and that's all that matters.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My family was the same. Not my mother, but her extended family. I love them all, but they were fat obsessed and it rubbed off. I survived it better than my mother- she never felt good about herself. She'd tell me all the time I looked gorgeous, but I never heard her.

      My recommendation (which is by no means professional!)- stop worrying about it. Your husband loves you, and seriously, you don't need another man to find you hot if you have a good one! But do take care of yourself so you have many, many years to enjoy with him. I'm a chunk, but my blood pressure is perfect and so is mu cholesterol. I may not be hired as a model, but that ain't my goal.

      Hugs JoJo!

      Delete
  8. I've given up on trying to lose. My family was fat phobic and i was always being told I had to lose weight. I was always on diets as a kid. It screwed up my metabolism. I'm always in starvation mode so it moves very slow. Thing is I look at pics and I wasn't fat at all. My parents never once told me I looked fine and was beautiful as is. Now despite working out and dieting, I won't lose a single pound. So I gave up. My husband is a chubby chaser and he thinks I'm hot as is, and that's all that matters.

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  9. My mother and grandmother were farmers' wives, and worked hard. Never had to think about weight--they were too busy keeping food on the table.
    As for me, I was thin until a health problem developed and meds followed. But I am active, so whatever weight I am is just fine to my Dr.
    Good post!

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    1. My grandmother was a farmer too. As long as your doctor is happy, you should be too :)

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