Friday, May 13, 2016

Setting Boundaries: 4 Ways to Stay Sane Being a Mom

  Being a real housewife is something I’m extremely proud of. Growing up as a teenager people would ask me what I wanted to be. I’d say I wanted to be a mom. It wasn’t glamourous, it wasn’t exciting, and it wasn’t what most people wanted to hear, but it was the truth …and it still is. 
 
I think the biggest thing I can stress to any mom is to find time for yourself. If you have to work, (which I did for countless years in retail management) there’s one thing you MUST remember. It’s okay to say, “No!” For your own sanity you have to. You can’t be everything to everyone and stretching yourself so thin that you go insane is not any way to live. I know because I tried. 
 
For many years I had this false sense that I could do it all. I could have the perfect house, make the greatest food, have a career, have adorable kids who were spotless, and all the while driving the perfect car. Let me tell you how miserable I was. I was a horrible mess—I was mean and my marriage was heading in the wrong direction. On the outside everything looked perfect, but on the inside I was exploding. I had to set some boundaries. I had to prioritize for my own health and this is how I did it.

 
SETTING BOUNDARIES 
Here are 4 things that helped me stay sane bringing up four kids.
I think they might help you too.
 
1. Have a set bedtime for your kids.
It helps you spend time with them and they have a healthy sleep schedule. For us it was 8:00pm until the kids were in middle school. At that point it raised to 9:00pm. This gives you alone time with your spouse and lets you start to relax to end the day. 

2. Every day do something for yourself.
I take a bath every night. Nobody bothers me during this time. For you it could be read a book, watch your favorite show… whatever it is, take time to gather your thoughts and regroup.
 
3. Don’t over schedule yourself or your kids.
It’s tempting to get involved in everything. Church, baseball, football, dance, gymnastics… You name it, it can take over everything in your life. It’s good to get your kids involved, but know yourself and your limits. We allow each kid one activitity. That way our kids can try and learn new things, but we aren’t lost in the insanity of over scheduling our life. 
 
4. Learn to be happy with less.
Having everything isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. We downsized the Expedition to a Town and Country minivan. We got rid of the Accord and bought a Chevy Sonic. Just by doing this we have saved over $400 a month. Look for ways to cut costs. Everyone can look at their budget and find ways to get by with less so life isn’t so stressful. Cook more at home. Eat out only when you have to. Shop only when you need something. These are small things that add up to dollars back in your pocket. 
  
Guest post by Jennifer J. Bennett. 

Jennifer Bennett is a mother of four, writer, Bigfoot hunter, and moonstone wearer. She enjoys film, travel, reading, and spending time with her family. She is the founder of The Authors’ Think Tank and is in the middle of rewrites on her YA novel “The Path.” She currently is a stay-at-home mom who dabbles in content management and social media trends. She can be found on Instagram (@jenniferjbennett) and on Twitter (@jenniferjbennet) periodically.

9 comments:

  1. Great advice on staying sane! We have a set bedtime schedule and my son is only allowed one activity. Right now it's swim lessons. Saying no is difficult sometimes, but you're right, we need to say it to stay happy. :)

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  2. Having order... believe it or not helps kids and adults feel comfort. It's the little things that help. And chocolate. Lots of chocolate!

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    1. Yes, chocolate! Always have to have that. :)

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  3. I hadn't realized the importance of the little things I did for myself, like reading time, until I tried to say Yes to too many things. Bringing order to the chaos really can save one's sanity...and add to loving life more.

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  4. I love bath time. It's the one time I can lock the world out and chill. That is something I can't live without.

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  5. Amazing tips!! I have that part of me that wants to be super helpful making it equally super hard to say noooooo. Work in progress!! Thanks for your post girlie!!!

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  6. yeah Jennie!! yes we do need our time! and be firm on that bedtime and the rules - yes those boundaries are good for everyone, wish more parents would stick to their guns... thanks for the great post!

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