Ahhh, the crisp smell of paint, lemon Pledge, Windex, and Lavender Fields Glade Plug-ins. Harken to the dust mop ever-swishing and the dishes ever washing. The gleam and sheen of counter and cabinet are rivaled only by the sparkling clean stove top. The refrigerator, you ask, blinded by the glow, can that possibly be real? But where the milk dripping down the back of the shelves, where the puddle of petrified BBQ sauce? You might even wonder if a fridge is still a fridge without the veggie drawer of death.
But don't stop there - have you seen my closets? Arranged by season and color, not a thing in the hamper, nary a sock on the floor. And with its empty counters and cabinets with nail polish lined like tin soldiers, my bathroom sometimes wonders if I even still live here.Fret not, though, my friends! You, too, can have a house as sparkling clean as ours. And it's so easy to do...
All you have to do is sell it.
Then spend weeks packing, painting, finishing projects like flagstone patios, patching walls, updating fixtures, scouring baseboards, cleaning like a mad-woman. And, of course, you have to live there like you don't live there at all. If you get something out, it goes up immediately. If you see a speck of dust, panic, then grab the dust mop. Forget your favorite china; your place settings now all say "Solo" and come in red or blue. Make your bed every day and carry a Clorox wipe with you everywhere you go in the house... just in case. And definitely forget having a social life while it's on the market. Because you have to go home and clean the few hours worth of dust that settled while you were working.
Simple, right? On one hand, when we listed our house on 5/11, our house had never been cleaner and felt more soothing to live in (albeit living in very carefully). On the other hand, when we accepted an offer on the 19th, we breathed a HUGE sigh of relief and beer cans, junk mail, and socks magically started appearing all over the house again. The sparkling fridge? Well, it was nice for the week or two it lasted, but face it; that's basically going against nature.So there you have it: If you want a perfect house you should absolutely put it on the market right now. You just have to give up all sense of comfort, privacy, free time, and sanity, but it's totally worth it, right? Right.
*LOL* Congrats on selling your house! Maybe some day I should act like I'm going to sell mine to get it that sparkling clean. :)
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't recommend it over long periods (unless you have a wine cellar and a limitless supply), but it sure looked good for a little while!
DeleteOh goodness!!! Hilarious way to get it done with stress!
ReplyDeleteOOOOODLES of stressballs! lol
DeleteYep! I often look around and think-- Sell or Give a Party. The only way to get this mess under control.
ReplyDeleteOh yes! We've decided to have a dinner party before JUST to make ourselves detail clean everything.
DeleteTrying to sell a house is hell. I think that's why I'm so reluctant to move out of my rental.
ReplyDeleteYou aren't kidding! My last house was on the market for a full year. Keeping it perfect that long did NOT fit with my usual lifestyle!
DeleteI am more than ready to sell. I want that small two bedroom with just enough room for me and hubby. Time to scale down! I also want to sell every thing, and I mean every thing I own. Okay, quit talking and just do it! :)
ReplyDeleteIt's a funny thought, but I think I'll pass. We've lived in this house for 45 years, and it fits us like a comfy pair of slippers. Other people might think it "stinks," but it suits us! Besides, the thought of trying to pack up all of the stuff we've accumulated over the years is enough to give me nightmares. But congrats to you for selling your house so quickly. Quite a feat!
ReplyDeleteI started little, so I don't need to downsize. But I have been working at decluttering. I mean, how sad is it that one of my biggest problems is too much stuff? How sad a complaint is that?
ReplyDelete