Dealing with Disappointment

I hate being sick!

I went the whole school year without getting sick, until the last day... and WHAMMO! I got a Mother of a Cold. Ugh. It's going to take my body a week to recover from all the coughing and sneezing...

But I'm not here to complain about that. I'm going to complain about something else...

After working as a long-term sub at the same school for almost a full year, I applied for an open position--and I didn't get it. But the worst part about it was the principal wouldn't tell me why someone else was chosen over me. I was so angry and disappointed. I felt used and helpless. How could they do that to me? And to top it off, she let me suffer through the last work day, avoiding me when she'd already decided--the coward, as I listened to all the teacher wish me good luck, hoping I'd get the job.

For a couple of days I was sick and depressed--I couldn't even have a drink cause I'm sick, dad-gum it! As a realist, I kept myself open to the possibility that I wouldn't get it. I've been screwed over before. But this was worse, especially after all the praise and encouragement I'd received. Early on, I told myself if I didn't get it, I would be done with teaching. At my age, this was my last shot. I guess it wasn't meant to be. It's their loss.

Some things in life we can't control. So I decided to act on the things I can control. Like, I won't sit around and wallow, feeling sorry for myself. I need to find a new direction. This is just a transition. It's not even a failure or a setback. I was a damn good teacher, but that chapter of my life is over. It's time for a change.

So that's where I am. Healing physically and psychologically. I'm ready to step up to the next challenge. And praying for strength and guidance along the way. Time to move on to bigger and better things.

Please DO NOT feel sorry for me. I'm over it.
Writing about it helped a ton - I highly recommend it.

You can't keep a good woman down - and don't forget it!
Have a SUPER week!

Self-Care in Chaos

So psyched to have Darci Cole at the House this week! Get ready to let in the light and make some magic!

Hey there Really Real Housewives! I’m excited to be with you today, and I hope I can provide information and entertainment while also being witty and real. That’s the hope, right?

Let me start by telling you a story. Early on in my marriage, my husband once asked me why I looked so cloudy. I didn’t understand, but he explained that my eyes, the energy around me, just felt less-light than it usually did. It was after a few times of this happening that we started to realize I was dealing with small bouts of depression. Sometimes he can see it coming on before I can, and he’s able to step in and help relieve some of the stress forming in my life.

Here’s the thing: all of us have stuff we love, and we tend—hopefully—to let go of the stuff we don’t love. But sometimes, without us even realizing it, those things we love can start to weigh heavily on our lives. Family, friends, even our favorite hobbies, can hang like a cloud over us, making everything else seem darker that it should.

Lately, I learned a trick that I’d like to share with you. When I’m feeling cloudy in any way—be it afraid, or angry, or depressed—I have a thing I do. This exercise helps me to really feel those fears and emotions, let them run their course, and then let them go.

I keep a little black book in my room. Sort of a journal. It’s not kept in any special place, but it stays around. It has a rope on it that I use to tie it shut. When I’m feeling cloudy—especially when my husband isn’t around to talk to—I take this black book and I start writing in it. I write down every negative or fearful thought I have. I keep writing until I can’t think of any more thoughts, and then I tie that book up as tightly as I can, and I put it away.  (I know some people who do this will tear the pages out and either rip or cut them up or throw them in a fireplace. Just some other options so you can find what works for you.)

It’s a terrifying thing to put those thoughts into words, because I know that if anyone else ever read it they would wonder how I could think those things about myself. I know if I ever found out one of my friends thought these things I would want to hug her and bring her brownies and build her a blanket fort. These are the negative thoughts that no one should ever have to have bouncing through their mind.

But it’s something we all do, isn’t it? We are our harshest critics, especially as wives and mothers. We feel this weird obligation to be perfect even when the people around us are completely understanding of the fact that we’re not. This is just one method I’ve found that works for me, but there are so many ways we can fight the urge to run ourselves ragged. Forcing ourselves to take a break, making a list and focusing on one thing at a time, really cherishing the small moments of peace and love that come to us.

It’s difficult, being a wife and/or mother. Life is crazy and fun and stressful and rarely easy. But the good news is that we’re not alone. So many of us go through this, and we can rely on each other for help. Life is hard, but you can do it, and you’ll be fantastic.

Darci Cole writes fantasy novels for YA/MG readers, and is currently seeking representation for her work. She is a Gryffindor, a fangirl of many fandoms, and a wandmaker for Colevanders. She loves Dr Pepper, pepperoni-pineapple pizza, and stars.

Follow her on: Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram

This is Joy

Thank you to everyone who read my previous post, basically introducing my story to you :)

When I talk about happiness, I feel that the description is something felt deep within during moments that are lighthearted and fun. For example, happiness is losing that extra pound, getting that promotion, going on dates, or maybe getting some unexpected income. Life throws us a bone every now and again. It’s good to feel happiness.

But joy… I consider joy to be something that is much more valuable. It’s the quality that I fight for every day. I take comfort in the fact that joy does not require being happy one hundred percent of the time. Just as life throws us a bone, it also gives us challenges we are never ready for. To have something there to help us be happy in those times is what #projectgethappy is about.

After a steady five-pound-a-month weight loss, I stopped losing two months ago. At a standstill, I become frustrated, annoyed, angry even. But combined with all those emotions comes something even better—joy. Because I have been outright with my journey, candid about my weight, I have people to lean on and turn to for encouragement. Also, I’ve learned to lean on myself. Sure, I am at a standstill, but I am beautiful. I am strong. I’m all kinds of wonderful, really ;) These are things I never would’ve thought about myself before.

Joy is something that warms your soul when there is nothing else to keep it brightly lit. Joy is gaining a pound, but knowing how beautiful you still are. Joy is writing 10,000 words that your editor advises that you delete, and you do it knowing it’ll make the story better. Joy is getting fired and having someone to hold you while you worry about how to pay next month’s rent.
Hold onto your joy. It is the key ingredient to any weight loss journey.

Hugs and Love,
Cassie Mae

Cassie Mae is the author of a few hundred… okay, maybe not that many… books. Some of which became popular for their quirky titles, characters, and stories. She likes writing about nerds, geeks, the awkward, the fluffy, the short, the shy, the loud, the fun.

Along with writing, Cassie likes to binge watch Once Upon A Time and The Flash. She can quote Harry Potter lines quick as a whip. And she likes kissing her hubby, but only if his facial hair is trimmed. She also likes cheesecake to a very obsessive degree.

You can stalk, talk, or send pictures of Luke Bryan to her on her Facebook page

This is Happiness

Another wonderful guest is joining us this week - CASSIE MAE! She'll be sharing POSITIVITY with us. We could all use more of that!


I’d like to thank the lovely ladies here for the invitation to crash their party for a few days. When I was asked to talk about my weight loss journey, I was honestly at a loss for words, and I find myself feeling that way again typing this, so I hope that what I really mean to say comes out in a way that makes sense.

2015 was a rough year for me. It wasn’t so much my weight, though that was a contributing factor, as it was the fact that I felt so out of control. I fell into a hole I hadn’t realized I’d been digging for myself over the course of many years. Bad habits, including procrastination, laziness, emotional eating, and poor self-image buried me, and it was around this time last year that I hit rock bottom. And I sat there for many, many months.

I felt my entire world slipping away—relationships I’d established went neglected and uncared for, and the worst of it was that while I worried about it, it was not enough to change it. I holed up, kept my feelings (and lack of feelings) close to the chest, never wanting to admit out loud that I felt dank and dark much of the time. On the outside, I put up a wall, trying to make people laugh and hoping that no one saw through the façade. Those closest to me were not fooled, and it took a long while before I admitted the problem—If I wasn’t toeing the line of depression, I was indeed sunk into its depths.

Admission is the first step to recovery. The moment I confided in someone (my husband), a tiny spark ignited somewhere deep within. Over time, and with open communication, that light expanded. Realization that this was more common than I’d ever thought, an idea formed—In January, I started #projectgethappy, a very open, honest, and public way of my journey to not only lose weight, though that was a big part of it, but to find things that would make me happy again.

What started as a solo project quickly grew, and I could not be more grateful. The people involved have inspired me on my low days, have offered encouragement, and have found a safe place to be honest as well. We’ve found that weight is only a number—one that does not matter, at that. My 300 pounds may be viewed as many different things: unhealthy, ugly, lazy… Or to some who weigh more, it is viewed as goals and smaller sizes. To me? My 300 pounds is strength, beauty, happiness.

Over the course of these posts, I will talk about what is truly important in any sort of journey—not the numbers on the scale or the amount of words written a day (if you’re a writer like me) or the times you’ve been asked for a second date. It all comes down in finding happiness, joy, and strength along the way.

Hugs and Love,
Cassie Mae

Cassie Mae is the author of a few hundred… okay, maybe not that many… books. Some of which became popular for their quirky titles, characters, and stories. She likes writing about nerds, geeks, the awkward, the fluffy, the short, the shy, the loud, the fun.

Along with writing, Cassie likes to binge watch Once Upon A Time and The Flash. She can quote Harry Potter lines quick as a whip. And she likes kissing her hubby, but only if his facial hair is trimmed. She also likes cheesecake to a very obsessive degree.

You can stalk, talk, or send pictures of Luke Bryan to her on her Facebook page