Happy is the First Step to Healthy

Hello again! Thank you all for having me back.

It’s confession time, Ladies. I don’t cook. At all.

Sometimes, I think about learning, watch Giada or the Ranch woman with red hair whose always making something yummy, and I think, I got this. And then reality by the name of the smoke alarm or food poisoning sets in and I go back to remembering that coffee is my one and only culinary quest. The rest, thankfully, is my husband’s.

And to answer your unasked question, yes, I look to the sky and give thanks for this amazing gift of a husband who cooks every day ;) But, while I have no crockpot recipes to give you (another confession? I cried the last time I tried to use my crockpot—I’m that scared of the kitchen), I do happen to have some health tips. Not because I’m a healthy person who has the golden ticket to health and happiness—the direct opposite actually: I understand what it’s like to want to be healthy and stand in my own way. Once I recognized what I was doing, everything changed.

1. Being healthy isn’t attached to a specific weight—it’s attached to how we feel about ourselves. The power of positive thinking is a real thing. Don’t just make goals, make affirmations and read them.
2. Try new things. I am a college athlete who thought running and lifting for hours a day was the only way to exercise. This was false. In fact, the more out-of-my-comfort zone I get, the happier I find myself, and the more charged my body. Right now, I’m doing the BeachBody Country Heat dance videos. I feel like an idiot each time, I still have no idea what a kick-ball-change is, and I often look like an uncoordinated colt learning to walk, but I sweat, and I smile at the end.
3. Do not keep a food diary. This is something a counselor recommended to me a long time ago when I was struggling with my weight—write down everything you eat so you can recognize what’s positive and what’s negative. All it ever did was make me feel like I was heavy, disgusting, a failure. I write nothing down and I do not weigh myself. I set steps, and I make goals: a healthy breakfast, a timed amount of physical activity, replace one meal a day with a salad, and one splurge item a week (it’s almost always pizza).
4. Do not attach your confidence to your image. What we look like is only part of our package; it’s the wrapping paper. We have to love who we are and what we can do more than we love that outer part of us. This takes time—more than dieting and working out does, but those results…they are the game changers.
   
5. Finally, don’t be afraid to find a friend who understands your journey, and ask them to take it with you. I found my supporting cast in an online happiness group—I’m now supported by and supporter to women I’ve never met before, but who understand what I’m doing. This is, perhaps, the greatest tip. Don’t rely on those you’ve always known—sometimes, it takes the support and understanding of a stranger to give you what you need. 

Emotional health is just as important as your physical health. Do something for you, without strings or expectations of weight loss or image building, and find the happy that will make your healthy. If you need a friend for your journey, find me on Facebook at Author Kristen Kehoe I would love to support you.

Until next time, here’s to finding happy.
xo

Kristen Kehoe is a wife, mother to a four-year-old girl and four-month-old puppy, teacher, romance author, and captain of the crazy train. Nice to meet you ;-)

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Hidden Heart #mondaymotivation

Mothers are the toughest people in the world.

We put up with, make the best of, and work with what we have.

Women are the smartest people in the world.

We reason, discuss, and find solutions.

Girls are bravest people in the world.

We aren't afraid to show our emotions and carry on.

Daughters admire, aspire, and attain.

Sisters encourage, enlighten, and edify.

Nieces connect, reflect, and respect.

Aunts know when to pull their hair up and when to let their hair down.

Grandmothers pay attention, work behind the scenes, and take care of every detail.

Together we keep the world turning, 

keep the men yearning, 

and keep the home fires burning.

I'm thankful for all the women in my life.

November was a tumultuous month for me. Severe highs and lows, many tears of sadness and joy, and oh so many wonderful hugs I haven't had in a very long time. I was blessed to be able to spend time with so many of my favorite women and I appreciate them all, especially living in an emotionless house full of boys.

One day as I was leaving my room, I noticed the hidden heart above. It comforted me during one of the bad days I had. It lifted my heavy heart with its levity and my day turned around.

May you find a hidden heart when you need it most!

A Healthy Sense of Pride

This week we welcome Amber Argyle to the House! She's got advice, an awesome recipe, and fun, relatable beginning of school woes... I hope you'll join us as she shares this week!

All my life, I have been taught two contradictory ideas. One from my church: beware of pride, because it proceeds the fall (meaning your downfall). The other from my school: have pride in myself, my appearance, my team. I didn’t understand how pride could be both a good and bad thing. The question continued to morph as my life changed. Was it bad that I had such swelling feelings of pride in my son’s kindness? Or my best time at a 5K (32 minutes, with steep hills, if you must know)?

www.kevinspear.com

This seeming oxymoron came to a head when my career as an author finally began to take off. After years of struggle, I was finally making good money, my books were well-received, and I was respected by my peers. I was proud of myself. Of how far I’d come and how much I’d accomplished. Was that wrong? Was I doing something wrong?

And then everything changed. My income dropped by a third from one year to the next. And then dropped by a third the year after that, even though I had more than doubled the amount of books I had for sale. I began looking around at other authors (granted, there weren’t many) who were still succeeding, despite the indie market crash. I buckled down, wrote more books, and released them faster. I had a strict deadline and often pulled ten hours five to six days a week.

It didn’t work. My sales continued to hover right around unimpressive. I was devastated. I’d worked so hard, sacrificed so much, and I tasted success. And then it was gone.

For what had to be the 100th time, I wondered if it was time to quit. Get a real job with a steady paycheck. But I still loved creating stories. It was the schedule that was killing me. And maybe not making fantastic, life changing money was a blessing. Because I was free to stop. Or at least go to half-time. Free to say yes to lunch dates with friends or a spontaneous trip to visit family for a week. Free to add working out back into my schedule. Free to help others who need a meal or a cookie or a pair of strong arms to move boxes or wipe tears.

It was around this same time that I found a quote by C.S. Lewis and I finally understood. “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man . . . It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone.”

The danger of pride is comparing yourself to those above or below you: “I wish I could be more like them!” or “I’m so much better than them!”. Neither is fair to you or the other person. The key for me was that even if that comparison was (mostly) to myself, it was still harmful.

I’m not making the money I was before. And that doesn’t change my intrinsic worth one bit. It never did. There are three things that are worth our constant efforts: working hard, being happy, and serving others. Everything else is just clutter.

Amber Argyle graduated cum laude from Utah State University with a degree in English and physical education, a husband and a two-year-old. Since then, she and her husband have added two more children, which they are actively trying to transform from crazy small people into less crazy larger people. Amber is the bestselling author of the Witch Song Series and the Fairy Queen Series. She currently has completed two series and is working on a third. You can receive four of her books for free. Simply tell her where to send them, here's her website.

This is Strength

A few months back, a neighbor of mine was talking about her job as a personal trainer. She said something I’ll never forget: Beauty is not a flat stomach. It’s not smooth skin or great hair or a perfect figure. Beauty is strength.

I’ve never considered myself a courageous person. I sit on the edge of fear most of the time. No scary movies, no haunted houses… even doing everyday things like driving down a busy road or walking to the park scares me. But courage, and strength, can manifest itself in many different ways.

I have no qualms about telling people exactly how much I weigh. (292.6, for curious minds.) I don’t worry about sharing my pant size. (22) I make jokes often about how I dye my hair blonde to hide the many (MANY) gray hairs that have popped up, starting at age 26. The reason? It took me a long time to understand it, but sharing those things help. Not just me, but so many others.

When I decided on healthier and happier habits, I noticed that I often got discouraged by weight loss stories. All I saw were numbers. “Go from a size 16 to a size 8!” “She lost over 50 pounds in 6 months!” Numbers were my enemy. Numbers do not a beauty make.

So my number (292.6) means nothing to me. My size (22)? Nothing. You know what means something?

My smile.

(Oh, there it is ;) )

My relationships.

My strength.

For those of you who’ve read my entire week, first, thank you. And second, find those things that bring you happiness, that bring you joy, and that keep you strong.


Hugs and Love,
Cassie Mae

Cassie Mae is the author of a few hundred… okay, maybe not that many… books. Some of which became popular for their quirky titles, characters, and stories. She likes writing about nerds, geeks, the awkward, the fluffy, the short, the shy, the loud, the fun.

Along with writing, Cassie likes to binge watch Once Upon A Time and The Flash. She can quote Harry Potter lines quick as a whip. And she likes kissing her hubby, but only if his facial hair is trimmed. She also likes cheesecake to a very obsessive degree.

You can stalk, talk, or send pictures of Luke Bryan to her on her Facebook page

Thanks again, Cassie for sharing your journey to happiness, joy, and strength! You're a beautiful example!!

Bless Your Heart... For Real!

All Customer Service Employees need this book

Yes, I'm trying to stir the pot again.

I once had an interesting conversation that started with this prompt: “There is a vast difference between being 'nice' and being 'polite.’” A few people, and I have to believe that they are among those rarities who are actually nice all of the time (yes, they do exist but I am unfortunately not one of them), argued that there is no difference between the two words. For most of the discussion, however, I found that people do tend to notice distinct differences between these two words and what they meant to them.

I bring this up for two reasons:

1.  Being a word nerd, I’m fascinated by how two words meaning essentially the same thing conversationally (despite specific definitions) and used interchangeably so often can evolve to conjure such specific reactions, and 
2. I had a long phone call where I realized that the ‘polite’ person that I was talking to on the phone was not a ‘nice’ person at all. In fact, I was pretty sure that she was giving me the finger while she was saying, “Bless your heart,” safely from her end of the phone line. I got off the phone with this "customer service rep" feeling hollow, irritated, and condescended to, and eventually just angry. NOT good for the old mental/emotional well-being.

You probably grew up across the street from this lady

For those not familiar with southern sarcasm, ‘Bless your heart’ can sometimes be a meaningful expression of sympathy, but more often than not it’s a southern lady’s socially acceptable way of saying “Why the hell do you think I care?”

Now it's got me wondering about my own responses to people and feeling slightly guilty. You know what I mean... The phone rings at work and, blast that caller ID, it’s one of those people you'd rather give extraneous body parts than have to deal with. But, since you have a job to do for which you are being paid, on goes that plasticine smile with the glazed eyes as you say, “No, you’re no problem at all, really, how can I help you?” All the while your imagination is dreaming up scenarios in which it would be acceptable for you to scream “Go away already you horrible person!”

See? Polite, but not nice, and certainly not in keeping with my goal to remain positive. On Monday I talked about faking it til we make it as a way to trick ourselves into being more naturally optimistic. When I let myself hide behind the polite mask I'm doing the opposite - I'm allowing myself to be negative by justifying to myself that it's not *my* fault that so-and-so is a pain to deal with instead of just putting my big girl pants on and take some pride in a job well done even if it means a momentary irritation.

Now that I’ve given you the set up, what do you think? What do these two words mean to you, and do you feel affected differently by them?